Star
by SKYLARSPENCE
Summary: Cruising down Beach Boulevard.


_**i feel like a star **_

"You like him!" Jess pokes his arm repeatedly as a way of relentless teasing. They're in study hall and they're also not supposed to be _this_ loud. Josh was trying not to react to her clownery, but he had to shush her, before they got in trouble and sent out of study hall. "C'mon, Josh, you _do_, stop denying it! We've all seen the way you look at him."

"I haven't even talked to him, Jess." Josh whispers. "I don't know him."

"But you want to get to know him, don't you? Real personal, too, eh?" She wiggles her brows. Josh shoves her playfully, opening the Bible and collecting his notes from the previous day. Jess stifles her laughter, giggling quietly. Josh can't believe his friends with her. And he means that in the best way possible. When it comes to crushes, however, he doesn't want her to know because Jess never stops once she finds out. Josh had a crush on a pretty popular boy named Michael, who then started dating Emily. But Jess had found out about that too and didn't shut up.

Josh is walking out of study hall to the boys' dorms. After saying goodbye to Jess, he puts his headphones in. He walks aimlessly down the hallway, surfing through his playlists trying to find a calming song to play to relieve his stress. His playlist is fucked. He can't find a relaxing song, so he has to search one up. Josh glances up momentarily, hallway mostly clear.

When he hits something hard, he yelps. Josh falls, whatever he bumped into clearly enough to make his body recoil. "I'm so sorry," someone says, their voice gentle. Josh rubs his head and looks up. Jess's teasing immediately echoes in his mind. The boy he was currently crushing on. "Here, let me help you out." Josh realizes the mess around him. His notes, notebook and whole ass Bible on the floor.

"Thanks." he says shakily. Josh grabs his notes, folding them back up as he grabs his phone that unfortunately clattered to the floor which then plucked his headphones out of his ears and out of the jack. The blond is on one knee, gathering the items on the floor before reaching a hand out to Josh. This reeks of anime vibes. Josh moves, bottom hurting and ears ringing slightly from the impact.

He takes the blond's hand. "Sorry, I...I should've looked where I was going." Josh says, abashed severely. He's brought to his feet, items handed to him shortly after.

"No, it's fine. You were headed to the dorms, right?"

Josh nods. "Yeah. Exams, gotta study for those." he says, trying to joke but it didn't come out. The blond smiles, adjusting his glasses.

"Y'know, to make up for this, I'll walk you back to your dorm, eh?" The blond says, nudging Josh's shoulder. He snickers.

"You're such a gentleman. The ladies must be swooning." Josh jokes, arranging his notes on top of the Bible, notebook below. The blond chuckles and reaches over to grab Josh's phone, wrapping up the headphones around the body.

"If that thing took a number, I'll pay for it." he says, completely sincere.

Josh smiles. "No need. Thank you, though." they start walking down the hallway, and descending downstairs to the dorms. They're joking around, clicking already and Josh can finally say he's talked to this boy, Chris. He used to be some unnamed crush, walking through crowded halls after the bell. But now he knows him. Or, well.. Josh can say he knows him.

Josh is in the darkness of his room, lit up dimly by the lamp on his bedside table. He sits crosslegged on the made bed, notes and study guide in front of him. He usually isn't one for censoring how he feels, but he feels small because of what he's truly feeling. Lustful. His mind gnaws at him, telling him to pray and it'll be okay.

Josh moves, packing away his study guide and notes. He crouches low once he's off of his bed, reaching under to grab the box of toys. He hadn't told anyone, not even Jess, about them. No close friends outside this boarding school. Josh takes the lid off, then the second one for extra use. He takes one of the toys, an erect replica of a dick. It was pink, not one he used often, but he can't shake the feeling.

He's only in his button up, that was unbuttoned fully, tie loose around his neck. Josh sits, staring at his locked door before shrugging off and discarding his boxers and shorts. Only sitting in his knee high socks. He grabs some lube from the drawer beside his bed. Josh releases a shaky breath, coating the dildo with it. He tries not to feel any form of shame, reminding himself that Mass is tomorrow.

It was cold, from the lube and from the low usage of it. Josh never really touched this one, and it remained icy cold. He pushes it deeper, reaching down to touch himself. His mind drifts to the boy he finally talked to, the boy he crushed on. So lustful he imagines it's his cock inside of him. Hard and fast. It goes faster now, filling him to the brim with pleasure.

Josh blinks blearily after it's over, palm sticky. He pulls the toy out, swallowing hard when it stings slightly from the absence. After it was always awkward to him, since he felt so shameful. Josh sighs, grabbing a coat from the rack near his door. It was one he didn't use, wiping the cum on the interior. Josh pulls his button up hem over his dick. Some things are private. He tries not to shake when he sees that his window blinds weren't shut.

He hopes and prays to God that nobody saw him. This was something that was strictly confidential between himself and no one else. He honestly wouldn't tell Jess. That would give her more fuel to tease him. No way. Plus, she'd be extremely shocked. Josh wouldn't doubt it. He closes his blinds, holding his breath for whatever reason. He spends all night convincing himself that nobody saw.

Josh is sitting at the lunch table, wire glasses on the bridge of his nose as he takes his notes. They were almost finished, then he had to do the study guide, which had about 5 pages left. Somebody sits across from him, and the wind blows hard, almost sending his study guide across the courtyard. He yelps quietly to grab it. Then he looks up.

"D'you have fun last night?" it's the blond kid, Chris. Josh narrows his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Josh asks, anxiety slowly building up and fixing to coil inside of his chest. He grips his pencil tightly, but it still shakes above his paper.

"You sounded like you were. You're pretty loud when you're excited, huh?" the blond laughs. Josh rolls his eyes, trying to play it off but really, he's fucking losing it.

"What do you want, Christopher?"

Chris shrugs, leaned on the table, arms crossed. "So you're not gonna deny it?" he smiles, tapping his fingers idly.

"Well, it's none of your business." Josh huffs. "Why don't you just forget it?"

The blond chuckles. "I like your attitude, Washington. Honestly." Josh grimaces at him.

"Go away."

Chris whistles. "Ooh, you're sassy." he teases sarcastically. Josh's shoulders drop and he huffs again, dropping his pencil. He stares Chris dead in the eye.

"How else do I make you go away? I told you, just forget it." Josh sighs, mood elevated but he doesn't let it show. A part of him is excited, glad that Chris heard. The other part doesn't trust him because he doesn't know Chris that well. How does he know that Chris won't tell the whole boys' dorm what he heard? Josh grabs his bag after stuffing his notes and study guide into their respected folders and into the bag.

He just needs time alone, if anything. His mind is at battle with itself. Josh stands and gruffs out a bye to the blond.

Jess bounces up to him, squeaking over some boy group. "This is their best era!" she says excitedly, playing their music video with no headphones. Josh bites into his sandwich, side glancing at Jess. He tries to busy himself with reading this book he didn't really care about. He honestly was just using it as a ploy to make it look like he was actually doing something.

"Hello, your magesty." Chris bows before sitting across from him. Jess immediately stops the video, mouth in a soundless gasp as she stares at Josh. "Oh sorry, did I interrupt something?" Josh opens his mouth to say yes but Jess beats him to it.

"Oh, no. No. I'll leave you two alone." Jess says, winking at Josh and grabbing her backpack. "Enjoy yourselves." she wiggles her eyebrows, skipping over to the group of girls in the opposite side of the courtyard. Josh groans once she leaves. He can't believe that she just leaves him to die in situations like this.

"What do you want?" Josh snaps at him, closing his book. "Do we have to go over this again?" he's truly over this. If Chris is only gonna talk to him over what happened the other night then Josh wants nothing to do with him.

"No. I just came to ask you something," he drums his fingers together nervously. Josh sends him an intense gaze. "I know, I know, I teased you yesterday. But you know, dude, I like you. I like hanging out with you."

"We've hung out for approximately 2 minutes. You like me already?"

Chris snickers. "Yeah. Guess I fall easy. So uh," he swallows. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to do anything later? Like over the weekend." he asks. Josh is taken aback. At first he was given the impression that Chris was going to tease him all the time. Given the events of yesterday. "I hardly ever do this, bro. I'm a pussy when it comes to asking people out."

"If I say yes, what'd you have in mind?" Josh asks.

Chris clicks his tongue repeatedly in a pattern. "Food court? We could talk. I dunno, man. Anything you want to do."

Josh hums. "Alright then, Christopher. You're driving." he decides. Chris huffs, laughing slightly as he scratches the back of his neck.

"I'll give you my number."

So Chris asked him out. Josh isn't sure if this was too fast or not. They kind of talked during classes, talked when Josh accidentally bumped into him, and then today and yesterday. Josh sighs as he takes out his phone, the charms that Hannah got him jingled.

He's on his front porch. Their boarding school allowed them to go out on Saturdays, but some stayed at the school. Josh pockets his phone, fiddling with the ends of his cardigan, sleeves pooling past his hands. He texted Chris his address the other night, Friday night. They talked until late in the night, it was weird. But weird in a good way. A way that was bizarre to Josh because he never thought he'd meet anyone this way.

The satin of his top soothed him as he brushed his fingers over the material. Josh sighs, wind gusting the stuck out strands of hair on his head. A car finally pulls up to the curb, and honks. Josh looks up, seeing a black Honda rumbling audibly. Josh descends down the steps of the porch, walking over to the car.

"Damn bro, this house. Your parents _that_ loaded?" Chris asks once Josh opens the passenger side door. "Like I know your dad's famous and all but I never knew what he did."

"You think we're like the Kardashians? Famous for no reason?"

Chris laughs. "Nah, dude. What does he do?"

Josh straps in. "Movies. Directing, mostly. He's produced some." he says, resting his bag onto the space below the dashboard. "Where's this food court?"

"In a mall. Beverly Center. I have a feeling you've been there."

Josh nods. "Yep. I shop there or online. Haven't been there in a while though." he rolls his window down as they drive. Chris takes a route where they cruise down Beach Boulevard, and it feels nice. Josh likes that Chris is driving. He plays with his fingers idly in his lap, against tight denim jeans.

Chris finds a parking spot with no other cars around once they get to Beverly Center. The building is cold when they enter, blasted with air once the double doors open. Chris takes Josh's hand, and Josh doesn't think that he minds it.

"Cake pops?" Chris asks, nudging Josh's shoulder to the deli that resided near the food court. "Small snack before dining?" he snickers. Josh smiles.

"Sure."


End file.
